Sunday, September 11, 2005'♥
MY FRIST LOVE...
Warning!!!..this entry is going to be a super super long de entry regarding my religion...so if ur not interested, kindly click close on the window...tks for your co-operation....
A conversation btw a mum and her kid on the church bus stir up my heart....
Kid: Mummy how do we see God?
Mum: U need to close ur eyes, believe in Him, Talk to Him and You will see Him
Kid: Then wad will He do??
Mum: He will talk to You, Love you and Be with You Always....
Indeed how busy are we in our daily lives that we didnt set aside a time purely just to seek His presence.. to See Him.. We are often busy wit our own stuffs..that we forgot of our relationship with Him...
Its the first time i went church.. together with lizhu and lizhen.. Mervin invited us for the church's anniversary celebration at Indoor.. was overwhelmed by the number of ppl there.. and tats when i first time get to see Chelsia.. one of my best fren...
A good service.. and Pst Kong gave an altar call for the unsaved.. felt something in my heart..therefore i responded to it and i was saved!! prasie the Lord!!.. Since then, i became so on fire for the LORD.. i went service every week, pray every now and then, went for bible study, powerhouse.. God is so near to mi everyday...God has been answering my prayer..He is so faithful to mi..
Its only until when I failed my O lvls the second time.. tat i wonder.. God where are you?? at tat time in my heart I kept tinking God has forsaken mi.. Slowly slowly i gave up praying.. my faith level dropped.. I was like wearing a mask to church everytime.. acting as though im so excited..i was a sat and sun christian.. during the week im so worldy.. i smoked, i go clubbing and scold vulgarities.. wad a living testimony i am..
I finally cannot take it.. in the end i left church when im wit IVAN.. tats the most foolish decision i have made in my whole life... Of coz i did not have a good ending with him... serve mi rite...:P Eric invited mi back to church last yr in AUG.. after four yrs im saved at the Church 15th anniversary.. there i am back to church.. I reaslied tat all these Trials and Tribulations are there to test my love for God.. but i failed badly..
Had a relationship recently.. and here i am not being accountable to my leader. It's not a godly relationship... therefore God will not bless it.. despite of frens telling mi tat.. and the Holy Spirit prompting mi.. but i simply just ignored and disobeyed.. yes, in the end it did not went well.. and im hurt the first time in my life.. but i thank God tat this time i did forsake Him coz of a relationship.. i endured it through...
There are alot of examples surrounding mi... most of them left church coz of a guy... although they chose not to admit it.. i understand how they feel...at tat time their blinded by love... but they did not look back at their first love.. the One who is always there for them when their down..
Ppl always run to GOD when their down, they need something from Him.. and yet He is always so faithful there... but when we got wad we want.. we forgot abt Him.. All He want is a relationship wit You...
For those of you who are dry now in the spirit.. i admit im one of them.. but not after today.. after Pst preached abt the HEART OF WORSHIP..for those of you who now are in a difficult situation.. for those of you who dare not go church becos of commitment.. Why not give God another chance to be there in ur life?? Tell Him how much tat u love him and find back ur first love....
Here is my life LORD JESUS
All i have I give to You
You're my God and my Saviour
You make all things new
My life is on the altar
I give my heart to You
In you I found my Purpose
My reason for living is You
You are my source and my salvation
Nothing compares to You
All of my days I long to know You more
Holy Spirit pour down like water
I'm hungry for Your touch
Each breath I take
I give my all to You
A long entry indeed... finally typed finish wad i feel rite now... yeah serving is great yst.. with Chelsea and Victor.. Oh God!! im surrounded by teenagers rite now.. in cg, in ministry.. haha they are super energetic de.. and childish too sometimes, haha they kept saying tat Tze hwa and Mi shld be together..reason?? just becoz we kept bickering.. i realli wanna THANK THEM lei.. for making both of us SUPER PAISEH.. duhz..
Rite now i onli want to concentrate on my work, church and nothing else matters to mi anymore.. of coz FRENS tooo.. I love you guys...
Heard from Eric tat the person ur down and u run to.. tat is UR FREN FOR LIFE... so tink back who is the person ba.. for me.. its chelsia.. if the whole world is busy.. i know she is always tere for mi.. she always listen to my grumble..and i do admit i have ill-treated her sometimes.. haha and for five yrs we didnt quarrel.. might have times tat we not happy wit each other..but we often hold our hands and pray together.. and tat solves everything..
Hao ba hao ba...shall stopped blogging here.. super long rite.. hehe.. love you guys.. muacks..!!!