Saturday, August 06, 2005'♥
After 21 years of living in this world now then i realise im a HINDERANCE...
Reason: He cant fulfill wad he want in life and havin a relationship now is like a hiderance to him...things just happen so fast tat i didnt have a time to catch my breath..
4 months... I got a "FAIL" in our relationship... At this point of time where im the most helpless.... I looked through the SMS u sent mi over and over again.. my heart aches everytime i saw the word SORRY.. Dun say sorry when u dun meant it ok? wad u have done to mi is not a single word SORRY will do.. First time in my life i committed so much, first time in my life i loved a guy so much..first time i sacrifice so much for a guy.. first time in my life i feel like dying after a break up.. when i was typing this blog.. one of the photos tat we took accidentally fell off the table.. and i tink it realli meant the END.. Looking back at the smile on our face.. I missed it alot.. maybe to u these 4 mths meant nothing at all.. u might onli be sad for one or two days and get on wit ur life.. to mi its different it meant one or two months..or maybe years to move on.. after all i conclude tat im a failure in relationship ba.. I felt dirty, i felt cheap, i felt guilty..
Tell mi this is the rite thing to do rite now.. tell mi tat im just a fool..tell mi tat im poor in my judgement.. For those who always dont approve of this relationship..comeon u had ur chance now, laugh at mi ba..
All these while ive been fighting the battle alone.. onli a few frens knows wad im going tru.. and i wanna thank those frens who stand by mi.. calling mi at once when things happen.. they are Selyn, Jessie, Cindy, Xiao han, Huilian and even Dexun.. ya maybe ur rite i shld have listened to u..
Good for u u have now no more COMMITMENTS LE.. study hard and work hard ba.. i will try my best and forget abt u de.. i surely will... the hole in my heart is BIG but im sure i will be able to wound it up someday...
Going out now... i hope to find my happiness there... everyone pls dun call mi coz im not in the mood to talk and repeat the same old things.. i need time alone...