Sunday, August 07, 2005'♥
Initially wanted to stay at home and cry my hearts out..after awhile i realise tat this shld not be the solution to all the problems... i decided to go out and relax myself abit..
Met chelsia ard 7.30pm yst but i was late.. she went to the popular to shop shop.. then this guy approach mi..and talked to mi..at first tot he was a salesman then after tat he told mi his from my sec sch..was kinda of shock i didnt recognise him at all..anyway his name is Jason and he asked mi abt one of my sec sch frens Jas...Mind u my eyes were so puffy tat i didnt even dare to look at him...
Chelsia came to my rescue and we went to Suntec.. coz im miting lian to take my clothes tat i bought online... Reached there the first thing i saw is the wedding fair.. memories flooded back.tat time we both walked past and the uncle die die pull us in..and the auntie talked to us alot abt the wedding package.. those were the days..hated to go suntec and esplanade now..coz we always go there de..saw the place tat we last parted, the place tat we hugged the last... nvm i ren...
Ate dinner at Marche.. tks chelsia who is alwyas there couselling mi.. then we went to Balaclavia to have a few drinks.. Drank Red Wine Merlot.. the ambience is nice and the live band is good.. It was when the song "I dun want to miss a thing" tat i totally broke down.. chelsia went to the toilet during tat period.. i kept taking deep breathe to stop my tears from flowing down..but too late.. i started crying... I tot back on tat day the first time i went to his house to cook spagethi for him..then we watched Armagedon together.. i cant help but tink.. Y must u be so cruel to mi?? y things will turn out like these?? but no matter how hard i tot of a reason to convince myself.. i cant seems to find an answer...Frens have been telling mi to control myself and not think too much.. but i cant let mi vent out everything just for this few days.. bear wit mi ba..
I cant seem to get use to single life yet.. maybe everything shouldnt started four months ago.. then i wont be so tong ku ba.. i drank and drank and this is the first time in my whole life i actually vomitted outside.. i dun wished to go home..becos i know tat once i go back i will continue to tink de.. so i took one sleeping pills from chelsia and had a good sleep.. maybe to u guys im acting too childishly...this is wad we always tot but when it happens to us.. we then realise the hurt tat it have done to my life...
What i need now is time.. time to get over him day by day.. time to start over again.. time to erase every memories together..